Happy Halloween

Don't ya just love Halloween? It's that special time of year when it's perfectly normal to go out in a Ninja Turtle costume and start kicking the crap out of a helpless Ghoul. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buPkcVORYpQ

Melon Heads

Everyone has had a Homer moment where Doh! is the first expression that comes to mind. But then there are those of us who have magnified Homer moments, something that I'll call a melon head minute for the purpose of this blog. A melon head minute is usually more embarrassing than a Homer moment and it quite frequently follows heavy drinking. It's nothing to be proud of, but it does lead to a good story or two. I have had my share of melon head minutes and a few of my friends continue to be practicing melon heads. We live, we learn, we repeat. We may not be the brightest in the room, but I can guarantee that we are having the most funN.

Homer Moment	Melon Head Minute
After taking a salty bite out of your homemade cookie you realize that you either confused teaspoons with tablespoons of salt or you used baking soda when the recipe called for baking powder.	You and your pals come home from a night out and decide to make some of those canned biscuits. Several hours pass and you are awakened by the blaring sound of a smoke detector. Your now well-done biscuits resemble little dollops of coal which can be used to power an entire city.
You realize that you just locked your keys in the car.	While pumping gas you frantically realize that you locked your keys, your cellphone and your 2 year old in the car.
You get halfway to work and realize that you forgot to buckle-up.	You get halfway home and as you glance in the rear view mirror you notice something odd about your toddler. He either grew a few inches in last 20 minutes or he's standing in his carseat!!
You take a friend on a boat ride and cause them to spill their drink when you suddenly engage the motor.	You put the boat into reverse and cause someone to nearly disembowel himself as he lands on top of a long neck bottle. (You heard it correctly… right up the pooper…)
After driving a few miles from home you realize that you forgot to pack your son’s diapers.	After driving a few hours from home you realize that you left your son’s entire suitcase next to the front door.
You accidentally let your grandson’s new pet lizard loose in the house.	You accidentally fry your son’s new pet lizard after putting its cage outside so that it could bask in the sunlight (no honey, it’s not dead… it’s just in shock…)
You fall asleep on the taxi ride home.	You (Delta Burke) and your sick friend (Tom Petty) pass-out in a parked taxi that you are convinced is a stretch limo. Once you wake you argue over whether it’s a taxi or a limo then realize that it doesn’t matter because it’s not going anywhere and you are miles from home. As you start walking the city streets in search of a pay phone you suddenly realize that it’s 6:00 AM, you have no cash and you are still dressed in your Halloween costumes…
You park your car in front of one of the many department stores at the mall. When you leave the mall, you can’t find your car and start to panic. Suddenly you realize that you are in front of the wrong department store.	You park your car in downtown Royal Oak, then after several drinks you decide to walk to a friends house. The next day you walk back to where you think your car is, but you cannot find it. When you finally do find it, you cannot get in it because your drunken friends who were sleeping in the taxi had your keys and they left them in the taxi…
You parked your newly washed car under a tree and the next day you find that the birds were using it for target practice.	You park your shiny black convertible on a steep incline and you neither leave it in gear nor engage the emergency brake. As you saunter toward the dock, you sense that something is following you. As you look over your shoulder, you see your car rolling slowly toward the boat ramp (thankfully you were quicker than that car … this time).
After leaving a restaurant you realize that you under tipped the server by a couple bucks.	You generously throw a 5-dollar bill into one of those group tip jars, and then suddenly realize that it was actually a 50.
You get on an elevator that is going up and you wanted to go down.	You, your friends and your entire luggage are crammed into a small hotel elevator that doesn't seem to be going anywhere. You can see out, but the doors won’t open. Someone has to be called to get you out. The repair man arrives 20 minutes later and promptly gets the doors open, then he smugly points toward a sign next to the elevator that reads "The elevator is broken, sorry for any inconvenience." Too bad for you, that the sign was written in German.